Compassionate Inquiry is a trauma-informed approach developed by Gabor Maté. It helps you get curious about the meaning underneath symptoms and patterns—gently exploring how past experiences may still shape the present—so change comes from understanding and compassion rather than self-judgment.
In session, we might:
slow things down and notice what happens inside you in real time (emotion, body signals, urges to shut down or push through)
explore patterns with curiosity: “What gets touched here?” “What does this protect?”
connect present-day reactions to earlier learning (without forcing a deep dive before you’re ready)
work with shame and self-criticism by strengthening compassion and self-understanding
build new ways of responding that feel more honest, steady, and aligned with who you want to be
Compassionate Inquiry isn’t about blaming your past, your parents, or reliving old stories. It’s not “digging for trauma” or pushing faster than your system is ready for. The emphasis is on safety, pacing, and respectful curiosity—so insight actually leads to change.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a practical, evidence-based approach that helps you relate differently to difficult thoughts and emotions so they don’t run the show. Instead of trying to eliminate discomfort, ACT focuses on building psychological flexibility—getting clearer on what matters to you and taking meaningful action, even when life feels hard.
In session, we might:
clarify your values (what you want to stand for and move toward)
notice unhelpful thought patterns and practice “unhooking” from them
build skills for making room for emotions without getting overwhelmed
reduce avoidance and increase follow-through on what matters
use small, real-world steps to build momentum and confidence
ACT isn’t positive thinking or pretending things don’t hurt. It’s also not about forcing you to “accept” situations you should change. It’s about helping you respond with more freedom and intention—so your choices are guided by values, not just reactions or fear.
The Gottman Institute approach is a research-informed, practical framework for couples therapy. It focuses on strengthening friendship and connection, improving communication, and helping couples manage conflict in ways that build trust and emotional safety over time.
In session, we might:
map the conflict pattern you get pulled into (what triggers it and how it escalates)
strengthen day-to-day connection (friendship, appreciation, turning toward)
practice communication skills (soft start-up, repair attempts, listening that lands)
work on recurring issues with structure so you don’t stay stuck in the same fight
build agreements around hard areas (boundaries, roles, parenting, intimacy, money)
Gottman work isn’t about blaming one partner or “winning” an argument. It’s not a script you have to perform perfectly. The goal is to build tools and shared understanding that fit your real relationship—so conversations become more workable, especially when emotions run high.
Emotion-focused therapy (EFT) is a relationship-based approach that focuses on the emotional bond between partners. It helps you understand the deeper needs and fears underneath conflict, soften the cycle you get stuck in, and create more secure connection—so problems feel less like “you vs. me” and more like “us vs. the pattern.”
In session, we might:
identify the cycle you keep getting pulled into (pursue/withdraw, shutdown/escalation, protest/retreat)
slow down key moments so emotions become clearer and less reactive
name the softer feelings underneath anger, criticism, or distance
practice new ways of reaching for each other that feel safer and more direct
strengthen repair after conflict so you can reconnect sooner
EFT isn’t about assigning blame or deciding who’s “right.” It’s not just insight or talking about feelings for the sake of it. The focus is on creating real change in how you respond to each other, especially in the moments that matter most.
These modalities are tools in my toolbox—if it fits what you need, we’ll use it; if not, we’ll use a different approach that matches you.